On Grieving My Mom While Being a Mom

 I'm not sure if I'm ready to write about my mom yet. 

I think about her all the time. At least once a day I think "I really should call mom," because a part of me that isn't even thinking recognizes that I haven't spoken with her for too long. Then, just as quickly, I'll remember the reason why I haven't called her – she's not there any more. 

I hadn't seen my mom since January when she passed. I am so, so thankful that I spent last New Year's Eve, 2019 going into 2020, with her. Usually when I visit Maine for the holidays I go back to LA before the new year, but last year I stayed longer because my niece begged me too, and it just made sense. I didn't realize what a blessing it would be to have that memory: staying up until midnight chatting with my mom; mom, Izzy and I counting down to the New Year and toasting with sparkling cider and non-alcoholic champagne when the clock struck midnight. I wish we had taken pictures. 

Grandmom's Christmas Spriz Cookies

Can you tell that moms have been on my mind lately? With the passing of my mom, and now that I'm a mother myself, I've just been thinking so much about what motherhood and parenthood in general means. Especially around the holidays! My mom made Christmas feel totally magical every year, and I hope to pass down many of her Christmas traditions to my own baby. 

Every family has their own holiday traditions, and one of the first holiday memories I have of spending Christmas with my now-husband's family is of eating his Grandmom's Christmas cookies. 

Phyllis Yetter's Christmas Pumpkin Cookies

This Christmas season has been weird. First of all, we're stuck in a pandemic. We live in Los Angeles, which currently has the highest rate of Covid cases in, uh, THE ENTIRE WORLD, so we've been staying at home with the exception of taking Forest on walks and hikes. I've been working out my boredom and trying to cultivate a cheery Christmas atmosphere by baking dozens and dozens of cookies, from classic soft sugar cookies to Christmas pumpkin cookies and back again. 

Blog Reset and Personal Updates, 2020 Style!

Well, it's obviously been a long time since I posted an update here, and a lot has changed. Like, a LOT a lot. 

Me and my baby!

Firstly, I have still been writing. You can catch my articles over at SheKnows, where I write about food, home decor, and other topics related to cooking and the home. 

Secondly, in May the best thing ever happened. My husband Nate and I welcomed our baby boy Forest into the world! He is truly the light of my life, especially this year when so much horrible stuff has been happening in the world at large, and personally. 

Blood Orange and Meyer Lemon Salad with Sherry Vinegar

Winter in California means one thing to me: citrus season. Well, okay, two things: a respite from the blazing heat of the valley, and citrus season.

But really, the two go hand in hand. For so much of my life I associated citrus with hot weather. Sweet and tangy, refreshing lemons, limes and oranges make their way into so many summer beverages and ice pops. But I was shocked my first winter in Los Angeles, when the farmer's market began to overflow with dozens of types of citrus near the end of January and into February. I literally had no idea that there were so many types of tangerines, or oranges, and even grapefruit, in existence.

Vegan Peanut Butter Cups, because my New Year's resolution is "more chocolate," apparently

When I was little I was in a bowling league. I was terrible, yet it was still probably the peak of my athleticism (I apparently did not take after my Papa, a pro bowler who you can see throwing an epic strike here).

The best part of practice was getting a snack from the vending machine (see above review of my athletic career, ahem). My parents weren't the type to feed us candy for any old reason, so getting 50 cents from my dad and running to the vending machine with my sister to pick out anything we wanted was like hitting the kid lottery.

Thai Kale Salad and a 2016 life update

My in-laws (yes, in-laws! Officially!) are in town this week, and though we've been busy running around town with them, I finally have some down time this morning. With the new year here I thought it would be a good time to make a blog update, and to share a recipe that's healthy and yummy enough to be worthy of my first blog post of 2016.

As you may have noticed (in-laws, people!), I am now married! We had a ceremony in Maine in early October, and our little hometown couldn't have been a better location. The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, and our friends and families really made the experience a dream for us.

Meyer Lemon Focaccia

Fruity, floral, and intoxicating, the smell of meyer lemons brings back so many memories of my first winter in California. I had never tasted one before, and they were everywhere - so exotic to me, but so common here.

One of my favorite fruits, meyer lemons are a combination of lemons and mandarin oranges. They're exceptionally fragrant, slightly sweeter than a regular lemons but still tart, thin skinned, and very juicy.

Buffalo Tempeh Sushi with Vegan Ranch Dip

The holidays are finally here, and with slightly cooler temperatures in LA (and, finally, some rain!) I'm turning to heartier fare to keep off the (very slight) late autumn chill. Gone are the cucumber rolls of summer. In their place, a much more substantial buffalo tempeh roll, along with a decadent vegan ranch dip. I usually add avocado to this roll but sadly was out this time around. I've included it in the recipe below, because let's face it - literally everything is better with avocado!

My Favorite 5 Ways to Use Orange Blossom Water

My darling neighbor recently gifted me with a bottle of fragrant Orange Blossom Water. I'd never used it before, though I knew that it should be used in very small quantities to impart a delicate floral aroma to dishes. Luckily I stopped my fiance from chugging it straight from the bottle before I had a chance to explain that it was not, in fact, orange flavored water!

I was sipping some iced tea and thought that the orange blossom water could be a nice addition. I added a few drops, and was wowed at the subtle but delicious difference it's delicate flavor made. It turns out, orange blossom water can be incorporated into a lot of things I'm already used to making!

See my 5 favorite ways to use orange blossom water below.

Steamed Artichokes with Vegan Herbed Aioli

Spring is coming to southern California and even in LA, where the seasons barely change, there is something magical about this time of year. 

Flowers seem brighter, the air gets warmer and, of course, the farmer's market starts filling up with the tender greens and bright fruits that hint at the arrival of summer. 

Vegan Persimmon Cake with Meyer Lemon-Blood Orange Marmalade

It's the beginning of citrus season and the end of persimmon season, and after seeing a recipe for an olive oil cake with marmalade on Serious Eats, I knew I had to veganize it!

Vegan "Eggnog" Pancakes

Before I was vegan I was famous (to Nate, at least!) for my fluffy, tender pancakes. I first made them when we lived in a horrible basement studio apartment in a probably haunted building in a shady neighborhood in Boston, but it was our first time with our own kitchen and I developed a lot of my cooking skills there.

After becoming vegan, I wanted to find a pancake recipe that was just as delicious as the one I'd been using for years. During the holidays, I also bought every brand of vegan "Eggnog" I could find. They were all delicious! I decided that vegan "Eggnog" pancakes would be the perfect festive treat for breakfast one weekend.

Vegan Thai Tacos with Roasted Sweet Potato, Red Pepper, and Peanut Sauce

I'm lucky enough to work from home and sometimes I can't help but make myself a lunch that is a little more exciting than a standard salad/soup affair. A few weeks ago I found myself with a random array of ingredients on hand - some sweet potato, a few corn tortillas, the remains of a bunch of cilantro - and I decided to make roasted sweet potato tacos. But not just any tacos - Thai inspired tacos! A lot of the ingredients in Mexican food and Thai food are similar - spicy peppers, cilantro, garlic - and I thought it would be a great fusion lunch to help breathe some excitement into my day.

Jeweled Millet with Mixed Herb Salad and Citrus-Basil Viniagrette

I've been on a blogging hiatus since November. I was working two jobs (and still am, but with reduced hours), trying to craft as many Christmas presents as humanly possible while working 60+ hours a week, and honestly my cooking was reduced to whatever was fast and cheap. There was much pasta and red sauce, and veggie delight subs from Subway, to be had. It was not a blog-worthy or particularly fun time!

But happily I can say, after a rejuvenating vacation in New England, I'm back and so thrilled to be in the kitchen again. And honestly, to be in California! Divine, locally grown produce year round ... ample sunshine ... no salty slush to ruin your shoes every time you leave the house ... Of course I do always miss the snow and autumn and the beauty of New England, but I'm learning to appreciate Southern California as well!

Vegan Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls

Things have been pretty busy round these parts now that I've started working part time in addition to my regular full time job. But here and there I have been able to make some tasty vegan treats - like these heavenly vegan pumpkin cinnamon rolls!

Overnight Oats and Vegan Corn Chowder

Some people eat the same thing for breakfast every day. Nate has cereal for breakfast almost every single morning, the exception being on weekends when he'll occasionally cook up something he refers to as "egg blasters" (never eat the egg blasters. Trust me on this one). I go through phases with breakfast. I'll find something (like avocado toast) that I eat for a week, then Iget bored and usually end up having dinner leftovers for the next few days.

Recently, I was craving something a little more traditional in the mornings, and I think it's going to become my newest breakfast fad.

Vegan Herbed Orzo Salad with Meyer Lemon Vinaigrette

Nothing in the world reminds me of my first winter in California so much as the smell of meyer lemon. I had read about meyer lemons but never tasted, or even seen, one until I moved here. For the first few months after we moved, with basically just a car full of clothes and Nate's computer, I would endlessly scroll through Craigslist's "free" section to see if there was anything we could use. One day, someone listed meyer lemons, fresh from their own tree.

Vegan Bean and Sweet Potato Chili

Some dishes are easier to veganize than others, and this vegan bean and sweet potato chili is a great example of a recipe where no love is lost by eliminating meat.

Simple Avocado Toast and Fun Food Links

Sometimes the simplest things in life are the best, as is the case with this avocado toast, which I've been having for breakfast in various forms for the past few days.